Took BUP. At 9.00am.

WOW! 2 weeks today! I’ve made it here seizure free (I think?) and I’m still alive after my journey through lots of anxiety, heart arrhythmia’s and an emotional roller-coaster!

Despite my anxiety last night, I think things are really looking up. I’m am happier with my children, I have been doing more activities with them, and just in general, loving them even more each day.

It’s strange, I went on this medication for ADHD, and it has seemed to make me a better mother. Perhaps I was depressed slightly and didn’t know it!? People are commenting on how much happier and brighter I seem. I’m definitely a lot more patient and not so uptight.

As for ADHD, I feel I’m staying on track a little more, I’m more creative, and I can actually watch a documentary and understand what they are talking about. Example of this is when I was watching a documentary on space and solar systems etc..they were saying all these complex words and explaining them in complex ways and I could actually follow it right to the end! I understood the entire show and by the end of it had a whole new head full of information! Which I have still retained!

I can now following boring conversations and understand them and remember them! Where as before, if something didn’t appeal to me, I found it so hard to follow and couldn’t keep the conversation going.

So far, that’s it as far as the ADD side of things goes.

Had some anxiety while I was out shopping with my 2 kiddies today. I don’t actually know why, I just felt anxious for unknown reasons.

1:45pm-OMG! I didn’t procrastinate for the first time! With everything in my life, I always put things off because they seem to hard to focus on, even the most simple of tasks… Today when out at the major shopping Center I had finished all my shopping, and just pulled out onto the round about after coming out of the shopping centre… As I was going around the round about, I had relished that i had run out of food for my lizard! So instead of exiting to go in my home direction, I kept going around the roundabout and went to the pet shop! I know to some who don’t have ADHD, that sounds absolutely ridiculous.. But the fact that I actively thought and made a decision while I was on the roundabout without procrastinating to myself and saying ill do it later, …. instead, I just did it! Lol… Some of you are probably thinking … “Geeze, this chicks crazy, all she did was decide to go somewhere more before going home..”… Lol, but this was a momentous moment for me! I made an instant decision! No procrastination! I just did it!!!

To explain about this, I got this info below from a site:

What triggers procrastination?
*****People with ADHD for example, have trouble organizing their thoughts and the things they need to do. They can lack the ability to stay focused and carry out a plan of action.

When ADHD has gotten to the point that it is critical, the task becomes overwhelming and the individual simply gives up. This can happen with hoarders, people with dirty houses, students who have too much homework, people who have too much paper work to fill out for legal matters and so on.******

(Source)
http://voices.yahoo.com/psychological-reasons-procrastination-7759246.htm

In my case, my ADD is very severe, to the point I can’t even go to the video store because all the DVD’s on the shelf are all so overwhelming and I can’t focus on reading all the names and make a decision! It literally “hurts my head”!

Well I had more olfactory hallucinations today! (Smell hallucinations).

I also had déjà vu tonight! (Also A symptom of a simple partial seizure!)… This was the first déjà vu I’ve had in years! … Makes me wonder that the increased smell hallucinations and déjà vu episode are all simple seizures in the lead up to generalised seizure?

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