Took Bupropion at 9:10am

After a night of 8-hours sleep (which is a great amount of sleep for me), again I woke so tired forcing myself out of bed to look after my children. All morning I was so tired, barely keeping my eyes awake while watching my kids play! I decided something is up and I don’t think it related to this medication.

At 10:30am I went to my dr and he seems to think that I may have sleep apnea because I have had chronic tiredness for some time. Also in the past (and recently) I have woken in the middle of the night gasping for air, taking me 10-15 seconds to breath again. It’s quite a frightening experience. So my dr. has organised me to stay the night at a “snore clinic” to get studied. Don’t know when yet, waiting for their call.

Did 30 mins on the stationary bike today.

4:10pm (ish) stood up to go to my room for something and had an instant “olfactory (smell) hallucination”, it was like a burning electric smell crossed with toast and cookies being cooked and it only lasted 4-5 seconds and then was completely gone. I felt very strange in the seconds that it was happening.

4:25-was standing in the kitchen doing some tidying up and I was going to ask my 4 year old to pick up the food she had left/dropped under the table… It was so weird.. I said to her, “can you please pick your food underneath the car?”! It was so weird because as soon as I said that I felt disorientated and confused, and then realised the actual words I said! I was puzzled as to why I said those words to her. It wasn’t like the normal phenomenon where your talking to someone and while your talking to them you start thinking about something else and accidentally say what you were thinking…. NO, NO,NO… This was nothing alike this! I didn’t even have the car in my mind at all! Nor was I about to go for a drive AT ALL! I have NEVER had this happen to me EVER before!

I think I’m beginning to have “simple-partial-seizures”!?

What do I do? Do I continue on this medication? I will see a dr about this sometime soon. Maybe my fears are coming true?

12:50AM ! Still haven’t gone to sleep! Anxiety like crazy! I keep laying here about to fall asleep and then my anxiety tells me I’m about to die and then I have to change positions to let my self know I’m still ok. What’s making me most scared is that I keep thinking about these few simple but powerful words…. “Life has no guarantee”! That terrifies me! I keep thinking that I could die at any moment..! After all, life has no guarantees!

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